“Home is Where You Don’t Have to Come Out Every Day”


Especially in the wake of the recent LGBTQ suicides, we couldn’t help but highlight this beautifully written tribute by Brigid to what distinguishes Smith as a place where, for many people in the LGBTQ community, life can be a lot better:

There were lots of things I disliked and even hated about Smith and Smithies while I was there. But what I really miss, and had no idea that I would miss this much, was the level of social comfort Smith afforded me.

I didn’t have to come out all the time.

I could be out without having to come out: I didn’t have to make a point of telling every single person I met that I was gay just so people wouldn’t assume I was straight. And if I did want to make sure people knew – or if I happened to want to mention my romantic partner, for crying out loud – it was never a big production. It wasn’t even Coming Out so much as it was carrying on with my life, because at Smith my life was normal. Something people could relate to. Something people understood, for the most part.

Now, Smith is not a haven for everybody. The community struggles with accepting trans people, and even not all lesbians feel at home there. As a butch/femme couple engaged to be married, even Wiley and I were not your average Smithies. But there’s not your average Smithie, and then there’s so foreign I don’t even know how to explain it in words you’ll understand.


%d bloggers like this: